Off The Mark –Episode 5- Ikeys in Joburg China!

Hello Friends. Sorry for missing last weeks article, unfortunately with a pretty poor performance against TUT, I struggled to stomach the idea of making Jokes on what was not our best day at the office, anyway this week we seemed to hit back with a win against UJ.

The game was a stop start affair and I’m not going to delve into the depths of the match because I’m sure you have more than likely seen the game! Let’s just say that Matt Page had a blinder coming off the bench and that offload to score the last try is something that will be featured on Supersport Blitz for the next couple of weeks. Speaking of Blitz, our very own Marcel Brache. (Yes, walking along singing his song!) was called up for Paul Treu’s sevens outfit, we will see what transpires there.

Arriving at the airport you can imagine the mood knowing we were off to Johannesburg. Quite frankly its not a very picturesque place, especially for us marshmallows coming from the Cape. We all packed a shirt and all our favorite name branded things because quite frankly you just don’t fit in in Jozi if you wearing your boardies and vest! As usual the front rankers made their way to the Spur and Mike Ledwidge went to Woolies after feeling the heat from my past article about his amazing eating habits!

Boarding the plane one would have been forgiven for thinking that the Ikeys were off to the New York fashion week! Fallon our Biokinetikist was drenched in pearls and “accessories”, and seeing her battle her way onto the plane with multiple pieces of hand luggage whilst trying not to look bothered was quiet a sight! Of course her hand luggage was all tattooed with the Louis Vuitton labels and I really don’t think she took off her Gucci shades once during the flight! She is from Joburg so forgive her, but please can someone explain what it is with Joburgers and wearing their shades whilst indoors!! Anyway what a vibe she was and a great help, being from the “Big Smoke”.

I had to room with Ash Wells again (I know, mare!), and our room was let’s say…ridiculous! It was obviously once a toilet for the bigger room next door and this posed some problems for the combined size of me and Wellsy! Our toilet was in the cupboard, and once you sat on it you could not close the door. So every time either of us needed to take care of business, we would politely ask the other if he could stand outside!! If you were on the lavatory you could LITERALLY rest your feet on the bed. Our shower was an old spice cabinet we assume and was jammed in the wall on the other side of the room. Pete Haw would have battled for space! Often during shower time I would hear the bellowing voice of Ash screaming “This is f%^king bullshit!” Wellsy being a 55 cap veteran was probably expecting the honeymoon suite!

After the game we had a few lagers and sung our new John Le Roux song, there were many winners for team awards, Matt Page won, Therlow got team man of the match, Stu Commins got something, Heiberg got team man, Brumbie (Mike Ledwidge) got biggest HiT, and Selo (Marcello Sampson) got Try of the day!! Generally there was just a vibe and we felt good after the game, I’m sure we can deliver more but the relief and feeling was good!

Flying home (And I’m coming to the end now I promise!) our dress up theme was “Superheroes”. We had Danger in full Scooby Doo attire, JP was MR INCREDIBLE, Matt Page was in full Michael Schumacher dress up and there was a Zorro. Apparently this Zorro according to the team was in his off season because he was bigger than the usual Zorro, but anyway! A good win in Joburg!! Hope to see all you Tigers packing out the Danie Craven Dump, oops I mean stadium next week!!!

A UUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!