Off the mark – Episode 4 – The Ikeys prepare for valentines day.


Hello readers! Sorry for the late article, I thought it would be a good idea to attend my second lecture of this semester and quite frankly in terms of this column as well as my personal time management, it was a disastrous decision, not however as bad as some of Stuart Dickinson’s decisions, but still!

So I wont be doing that anymore even though I know academics are the most important thing and Varsity Cup must be second place in my quest to attend lectures…What nonsense!! I can’t believe that some people ACTUALLY believe that!

Anyway this past week brought us back to THE CHAPMAN HOTEL in PE to take on NMMU. The Ikeys ran out 65-9 winners in what was an emotional game for UCT as a whole, as this fixture is fought out for the Monty Taljaard trophy, honoring our late teammate who passed away suddenly in 2008. Montys dad also handed out our jerseys and gave us a few words from an old interview done by Monty. The game was played in pleasant conditions with some great waves of attack from the Varsity boys which saw us collect 5 points and move into 2nd place on the log.

Arriving on Sunday at the airport, one could almost feel the tension as the UCT men sussed each other out. It happened to be Valentines day, and knowing we had to spend the next few days amongst supplement induced 110kg rugby players instead of our soft loving girlfriends made us feel well…….ECSTATIC!! We exchanged hugs and a bit of banter before the tight forwards made their way for a valentine’s breakfast of Double cheddermelt burgers at the Spur. Being Valentines Day and knowing that Wes Chetty would be his roommate, prop Chris Heiberg put in an order for warm towels to be waiting at the Chapman!

What ensued is quiet amazing as BIG RIG and bodybuilding enthusiast Mike Ledwidge got down to supper. And my god did the man eat! After manhandling his first half chicken and 5 potatoes he then went, to the amazement of the Chapman staff, for seconds! Brumbie as he is known, ate a whole chicken and about 8 potatoes, salad AND then convinced us slender weight watching front rankers that we needed to go to Spur AGAIN and have Waffles, which we did. Its amazing what peer pressure can do. Amongst all of this Ledwidge managed to cut 6kg’s in the preseason! Ledwidge as funny as the man is came out with this ripper chirp on the bus, he leans over to me and whispers in my ear “Carrying the ball is so boring and unnecessary, we must not do that, we must just look for contact and rucks.” Ledwidge you are my hero!

Another chirp that had the NMMU loosehead laughing was the one on the field from a UCT player. Now NMMU have quite a thin “gherkin” playing number 8, then again so do we if Sam Peter is on the field! Anyway it’s quite severe for this chap as his Medac tights are unfortunately not tight on his getaway sticks, and his arms represent that of pole vault. So Nick Groom as excited as he is being 15 years old shouts “Guys! Watch the number 8, he’s going to go!!! Watch him he’s going to go!!” At this moment a very large tighthead prop from UCT turns to Groom and says “Groomy, lets just hope for everyone’s sake that he goes to the f*%king gym.”

After the victory the Ikeys went out and once again spread the UCT name with cheers and chants of the UCT RFC! We then went gambling where we all laughed at Peter Haws broken nose and lost money, AGAIN. Speaking of Pete Haw’s nose, good gracious I don’t think Rugby has seen a nose like that since Gareth Wright last played a game! It was severe, he could smell around corners. With all the players saying “Don’t worry Pete, it’s not that bad, it’ll heal. Don’t worry about it!” Then we would all meet and say “Oh my god, have you okes seen Pete’s nose, its sooo f*%ked!”  But lucky for Peter he has a great medical aid and they did fix it!! He looks awesome again, so symmetrical and cute(valentines hug) and we will see him back in one week’s time!

Until next week! A UUUUUUUUUU.

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